And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
