I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
