Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
