you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
