im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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