I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize