is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
