he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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