this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
