He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
