Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
