The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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