I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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