She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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