She's JV to your varsity
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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