I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
