I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
