How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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