Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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