whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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