i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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