it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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