addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
