im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
