how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
