Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
