my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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