don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
