I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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