Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
