cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
