kristin has been a bad kristin
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize