She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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