Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
