you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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