Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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