don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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