Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
