She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize