he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
