I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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