we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
