no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is wine microwaveable?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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