I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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