So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
