What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
