Your face is a jimmy john
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
