Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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