the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
