My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
