it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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