I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
