I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
