oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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