You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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