i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
