I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
