Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have post one night stand depression
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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