your thong is hanging out like whoa
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
