You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
